Learning English through Armed Robbery and '80s Aerobics

This video left me jaw-dropped and singing "spare-me-my-life" all day long with the requisite arm gestures. It is just the right combination of really disturbing and bizarrely fascinating.
I had no idea what to expect next.


Zuiikin English - Sankakukin Trouble

The description accompanying the clip says:

"The amazing Japanese show that helps you learn English through a variety of dance moves and badly reenacted scenes from Western movies."

I'm not sure what Western movie that's from, but the aerobics moves and repetition are very effective. I really want to tell those smiley Japanese girls that "Take anything you want" is not the right catchphrase when you're being attacked on the street. Though that's pretty much what you can expect from a cop.
May I suggest Girl Army.

I also particularly like the inexplicable close-ups on their armpits. I sure wish I knew what Creepy Guy at the end was saying.
Thanks to Lynn for finding this.

white on bug crime

There's nothing that lightweight about Ann Coulter. She wins pretty much every heavyweight prize I could throw at her. Let's just say, when I'm torn on an issue, I look to Ann and run screaming in the opposite direction.

Here, Ann helps us all determine the appropriate ranking of oppressed people (and things), according to "the liberals":


(new link)

I almost have no words.

Band-Aids only come in one color: white person.

Thank you, Stephen Colbert; I've been waiting for someone to explain what about Sonia Sotomayor's acknowledgment of her own life experiences makes her "biased," whereas all those white judges' life experiences are neutral.
In America, white is neutral. It's like Band-Aids...

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Neutral Man's Burden
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Jeff Goldblum

thanks to Harold and Clare for the tip.

What's your Indian name? Facebook gets Lightweight.

I have to say, I find it ironic that Facebook kicks off real Indians whose names they don't think fit their "real world culture," but they will make up a fake Indian name for anyone who wants one.

For instance, Robin Kills the Enemy had her account deactivated by Facebook, who told her that "fake names" violate their terms of use.

She had to fax them a copy of her passport before they would reactivate her profile. When they did, she started a Facebook group, "Facebook: don't discriminate against Native surnames!!!" It's got about 4,800 members right now. She's not the only one who's had this problem.

Meanwhile, I see Facebook has a survey application they call "What's your Native American Indian name?"

So I guess if you don't have a real Indian name they'll give you one.
But don't expect to start a profile with that name.

I, of course, had to try it for myself. According to my preference of colors, seasons, where I'd like my ashes scattered, and how I like to camp - apparently my Indian name is "Rain Pebble."

Well, it's not as offensive as it could have been, but come on - rain pebble? That's not a real thing.
On the other hand, the little description that came with it reads,

"You are calm and collective, you are able to see past the troubles life may bring. You are always prepared and have things planned out."

Hey, that's actually kinda true.

"Chief Drink'Um Up" Wineholder

This creepy racist GEM was recently removed from shelves of Gold Diggers, a Rapid City, SD souvenir shop.

"We cater to the Native American community; we admire them," said Roger Thompson[owner of shop]. "We don't make fun of them, we employ them."

GREAT. Guess that means he were SERIOUS when you wanted people to buy this. Yes! You've joined the ranks of RACIST CLASSICS like the "Lawn Jockey" in 2009. Way to go!

Big up to the "The Jewce" for the heads up. Backstory: Rapid City Journal

now all black AND brown men look alike?

Photoshop is great. You can make cellulite disappear, or an accused murderer look more threatening to American people everywhere, or even double the number of children you've stolen errr adopted from African nations.

There's a fine line, though. When you start interracializing families just because Adobe says you can, I have issues.
Thanks Toronto, for crossing the line in the name of summer fun. Give those kids their real dad back.

colonizer's gas

So you're Russia. And you decide you want to stretch your influence in the world petroleum market through your national gas company - Gazprom.

Nigeria, you decide, is IT.

Let's do some co-branding, you think. It's really just simple math:

Nigeria + Gazprom = Nigaz

Right? Wrong.

Thanks to Seph for the keen eye.