HP computers are RACIST. [VIDEO]

True indeed.

The Tech industry seems to be creating a huge market VOID. These racist products are creating a need for tech that includes people of color. Remember our earlier post about racism in the age of digital photography? Any software developers interested in making culturally sensitive inclusive optic technology, please inquire. LightWeight Racist would love to collaborate. Till then, you are RACIST.

Big up Black Dezzy(?) and White Wanda for their research.

also, BIG thanks to Sele's cousin for the tip!

Holiday Travel

Our dear friend Susana ear-hustled this gem from an ignorant woman at the airport:

About her brown and black puppy: "This is Tiger Woods. His mom was an all-white pure bred."

About her black lab: "I left Charles Barkley at home."

As you continue merrily home or otherwise toward your loved ones, we at LWR encourage you to keep an ear out for other in-transit gems. Send em to us, and we'll help you celebrate how far you've come and whose crazy thoughts and ideas you've left behind.

"Be Daring In Bed"

  "Stepping outside your comfort zone (even a little bit) can be just what you need to match up your desires, get closer and make the sparks fly."

By Jenna McCarthy

From the December 2009 Issue SELF magazine

So, what your saying is racism, can heat up my love-life on a cold December night? Woo hoo!

 

Big up Megadeath for the tip!

coming clean

have you seen this anti-health care reform commercial?



wow. i guess you are.
what really gets me about this ad is the look on people's faces - like "obviously i'm not a racist, how could you possibly think that?" as if racism is off the table. as if arguing against black and brown people getting necessary health care so that your own privileged benefits will not be sullied or diluted is not racist. as if this country isn't built on racism and genocide. i especially love this quote in the commercial:

"if a person is racist just for opposing Obama's health plan...then A LOT of people in this country are racist!"

um... yeah. am i supposed to think that's unlikely?

 here's rachel maddow's take on the ad. they get to a good analysis at about 7:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

via HuffPost

RACIST OF THE YEAR NOMINEE: TYRA BANKS!

"...gives young women the 'girlfriend' they want to hang out with, and the role model they need." -Description for "The Tyra Banks Show"

*

HEAVYWEIGHT Halloween

Retailers at Amazon.com and Walmart thought this would make a good Halloween costume. We at LightWeight Racist thought we'd make and exception cuz it's blogworthy. The United Farm Workers thought so too, and at press time, Amazon has taken down their Illegal Alien costume, but has yet to formally address the issue. Their petition has been a success, but they want more...

CLICK HERE if you want to do something about it.

WalMart and Linens n' Things continues to sell these instant idiot makers.

"Be the hit of the party with our Illegal Alien Costume. You'll get so many laughs, it should be considered illegal. Includes mask, jumpsuit and green card."
-Linens-N-Things website ad.

The UFW is asking that discerning anti-racists call 1 800 609 9880 to give Linens-N-Things a piece of your mind and demand that they stop being fucking stupid, cuz afterall, it's 2009.

Question. Where are the petitions to remove other Racist costumes, such as the scantly Pocahontas (Poke-a-HOnt-ass), "Indian", and lets not forget the fratboy favorite "Afro" wig?! In addition to their illegal alien, Linens N' Things also sell the amazing "Hey Amigo" Adult costume.

Halloween is officially America's day for their inner-Racist to shine!

Warning: Wearing these costumes may get your ass beat. Friends don't let friends be racist.

OBAMA CHIA

Whaddaya mean it's racist?! Chia creator, Joseph Pedott, is shocked...

"So how the hell do you get racist out of it? And number one, you can give him a haircut!" [article]

You somehow managed to stay afloat with the Chia Ram, the Chia puppy, even the Simpsons... This nation's first African American President gets elected, and what better way to celebrate? Call me crazy, but I didn't see the George W. Bush Chia Pet, or the Clinton edition... hmm. We at LIGHTWEIGHT RACIST get you loud and clear.

(Photo: incase you thought we were kidding)

holidaze

There's a lot going on in the world (and the white house) right now, so I've got my eye on the end of the year already. Thanks, 2009, see you never!

In honor of one of my favorite end-of-year holidays, we turn to the Food Network's own Sandra Lee. I love it when people co-opt things, especially corn nuts (aka "acorns") and candles.



Get out of my kitchen!

McRacism

There isn't really anything lightweight about obesity, hormones, or globalization, but McDonalds' newest attempt to connect with Black folks has my skin crawling enough to warrant a highlight here.
Get out of my neighborhood!!

rescuing

I'm not sure what makes Hollywood writers, directors, and producers think that it's still okay to invest millions of dollars in reinforcing the idea that all Black children need a chance at living just like white people in order to "make it". Whether it's dancing, spelling, or even eating in a restaurant, there seems to be a code behind the silver screen: let's show the Black children what they're missing.

Nevermind that the investigation of a missing 5-year-old is left out of most media outlets for weeks and we can still predict academic performance by race, ethnicity, and zip code. It takes more than a rescue to interrupt generations of oppression, not just a glimpse into how the other side lives... okay, okay, this is getting a little beyond lightweight.

In this coming feature, we see the height of The Great Rescue. Not only does "Big Mike" get lessons in interacting with small children, he gets to feel sheets, play football in full uniform, and hug white people in public.



Aspire, children! Aspire!

What are your favorite rescue stories?

Racial Tension Headache

RACIAL TENSION HEADACHE

I'm about to run out and buy me some of this, thanks Queen Latifah!
LWR Readers - leave us a comment about what causes your racial tension headaches. You know you've got 'em...

Thanks to Adrienne for the link.

Learning English through Armed Robbery and '80s Aerobics

This video left me jaw-dropped and singing "spare-me-my-life" all day long with the requisite arm gestures. It is just the right combination of really disturbing and bizarrely fascinating.
I had no idea what to expect next.


Zuiikin English - Sankakukin Trouble

The description accompanying the clip says:

"The amazing Japanese show that helps you learn English through a variety of dance moves and badly reenacted scenes from Western movies."

I'm not sure what Western movie that's from, but the aerobics moves and repetition are very effective. I really want to tell those smiley Japanese girls that "Take anything you want" is not the right catchphrase when you're being attacked on the street. Though that's pretty much what you can expect from a cop.
May I suggest Girl Army.

I also particularly like the inexplicable close-ups on their armpits. I sure wish I knew what Creepy Guy at the end was saying.
Thanks to Lynn for finding this.

white on bug crime

There's nothing that lightweight about Ann Coulter. She wins pretty much every heavyweight prize I could throw at her. Let's just say, when I'm torn on an issue, I look to Ann and run screaming in the opposite direction.

Here, Ann helps us all determine the appropriate ranking of oppressed people (and things), according to "the liberals":


(new link)

I almost have no words.

Band-Aids only come in one color: white person.

Thank you, Stephen Colbert; I've been waiting for someone to explain what about Sonia Sotomayor's acknowledgment of her own life experiences makes her "biased," whereas all those white judges' life experiences are neutral.
In America, white is neutral. It's like Band-Aids...

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Neutral Man's Burden
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Jeff Goldblum

thanks to Harold and Clare for the tip.

What's your Indian name? Facebook gets Lightweight.

I have to say, I find it ironic that Facebook kicks off real Indians whose names they don't think fit their "real world culture," but they will make up a fake Indian name for anyone who wants one.

For instance, Robin Kills the Enemy had her account deactivated by Facebook, who told her that "fake names" violate their terms of use.

She had to fax them a copy of her passport before they would reactivate her profile. When they did, she started a Facebook group, "Facebook: don't discriminate against Native surnames!!!" It's got about 4,800 members right now. She's not the only one who's had this problem.

Meanwhile, I see Facebook has a survey application they call "What's your Native American Indian name?"

So I guess if you don't have a real Indian name they'll give you one.
But don't expect to start a profile with that name.

I, of course, had to try it for myself. According to my preference of colors, seasons, where I'd like my ashes scattered, and how I like to camp - apparently my Indian name is "Rain Pebble."

Well, it's not as offensive as it could have been, but come on - rain pebble? That's not a real thing.
On the other hand, the little description that came with it reads,

"You are calm and collective, you are able to see past the troubles life may bring. You are always prepared and have things planned out."

Hey, that's actually kinda true.

"Chief Drink'Um Up" Wineholder

This creepy racist GEM was recently removed from shelves of Gold Diggers, a Rapid City, SD souvenir shop.

"We cater to the Native American community; we admire them," said Roger Thompson[owner of shop]. "We don't make fun of them, we employ them."

GREAT. Guess that means he were SERIOUS when you wanted people to buy this. Yes! You've joined the ranks of RACIST CLASSICS like the "Lawn Jockey" in 2009. Way to go!

Big up to the "The Jewce" for the heads up. Backstory: Rapid City Journal

now all black AND brown men look alike?

Photoshop is great. You can make cellulite disappear, or an accused murderer look more threatening to American people everywhere, or even double the number of children you've stolen errr adopted from African nations.

There's a fine line, though. When you start interracializing families just because Adobe says you can, I have issues.
Thanks Toronto, for crossing the line in the name of summer fun. Give those kids their real dad back.

colonizer's gas

So you're Russia. And you decide you want to stretch your influence in the world petroleum market through your national gas company - Gazprom.

Nigeria, you decide, is IT.

Let's do some co-branding, you think. It's really just simple math:

Nigeria + Gazprom = Nigaz

Right? Wrong.

Thanks to Seph for the keen eye.

bwuce wee

ooh no. you can't touch bruce lee - that's sacrilege.
what kind of person would wear this shirt?
here's the text from the sale site:

Hand's down, one of the gleatest, malsharr altists of oul time.
Bwuce Wee can kick you ass all ovar da prace. One time he defeat da one hunderd ninja all by himself. And he did it using onry his big toe.

wow, really? don't get me wrong, i love me some bad engrish - but this is sad and tired lightweight racism. you have to try harder to get my t-shirt money. for instance, i like this one:



via angryasianman

racism in the age of digital photography

apparently the nikon s630 digital camera has a new feature: racism.


um, no. nobody's blinking. thanks for asking.
isn't nikon a japanese camera? wtf.
source via disgrasian

uncle ben's...instant racism

my entire life i've had a visceral, seething reaction to uncle ben's instant rice. maybe it's my asian ideals, but i just don't think rice should come in a box or be made in the microwave.
my loathing has an entirely new dimension now that i've discovered uncle ben's lightweight racist advertising campaigns. check out this montage of ethnic stereotypes appealing to the lazy cultural appropriator.
the links won't play directly on LWR, but they're short and well worth it.

let's see, we've got chinese uncle ben's...indian uncle ben's...and mexican uncle ben's...
"just the thing for when you fancy a mexican for dinner."
somehow i don't think that by "invite the world to dinner" they are actually suggesting this british family should cook dinner for a mexican.

Young Lightweight Racists (of Color)

Youth of color getting Racist. Here's a math problem we need your help with...
If POWER + PRIVILEGE = RACISM... then
WHAT
THE
FUCK?


We at LwR wanna hear what you think. Good comebacks are gonna make the post.
email us at nvrovr@gmail.com or leave comments.
Thanks,
-LwR

The Red House - Black People, White People Furniture. (VIDEO)

We at LwR take pride in calling out racist poot butts. Today is different. Thanks to Sarah Silverman and Twitter. We are pleased to feature that the ideal world is like... Black, White and Furnitre all over. Witness... THE RED HOUSE.


HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! WANT MORE? Go behind the scenes... Click here.

well, his name IS tiger...

how did baby tiger woods end up cast in... the jungle?

i imagine the ad execs at gatorade sitting around the table saying, "well we don't have the money to actually film tiger woods for this commercial, so let's see... how about we animate him, make him a little kid, and um... insert him into the jungle book." why not? and throw in some spelling.

ahem, samuel l. jackson - how did you allow this to happen?

PACQUIAO v. HATTON

The fighting pride of the Philippines vs. Manchester Englands "Hitman?"
Maybe is was all the trash talking, maybe it was Nationalism, but as a Pinoy, boxing fan, and a dude, I fucking loved this fight. Maybe too much. A boxer always carrys the their Nation on their back, in this case our beloved "Third World" nation knocked their nation ON its back... and OUT COLD! Ricky Hatton just learned a hard truth... an hungry mouth is an angry mouth. Pilippinos are de Pest! (Best!)
Does that make me Lightweight Racist? Hmmmm... Fuck it "I'll Bee Dat!"

Redman - I'll Bee Dat


Watch. Repeat.

*Bonus* There's a shot of Jay-Z making doughnut mouth when the knock out "pance" hits Hattons mug. See if you can preez prame dat!
Chris Tucker - YGKTFO!

Three 6 Mafia - Chinese Blues

Paul and Juicy J get their "ching chong" on...Lightweight Racism ensues.



Big up MATTHEW AFRICA for sharing the racism.

shopping

I'm the kind of shopper who thinks that if I can't find it in a half hour, I don't really need it that much. While I always appreciate any support in finding what I want faster, I'm pretty sure this crosses the line. Does ethnic mean "made in sweatshops by tiny brown people with nimble fingers"? Or maybe it's to help Valencia hipsters blend in with the Mission's indigenous folks? Even clothes by the pound ain't worth that.

Special thanks to Nicole and Amber for keeping an eye out for us. Keep 'em coming! -LWR

one of THOSE mexicans...

Like a lot of mixed kids, I went through more than my share of identity crises and culture questioning. I'm pretty glad facebook wasn't around back then - I think these "quizzes" would have done a lot more harm than good.

Not that there's ever room for "...you think you're white. You are not, you are probably Asian" or "...85% Black... but you sometimes can act white or dress white" on the social networking scene. I'll just say this - if you need a quiz to qualify your race or ethnicity, let me know.

HIP HOP's is made of RACISM

IT'S TRUE. The ever weird and awesome band "THE TURTLES" set the stage for hip hoppers (De La Soul, Steady B, Biz Markie to name a few) to sample and loop this racist gem, "I'm Chief Kamanawanalea" ("come on, I wanna lay ya" yuck yuck) That's right. Some of your favorite songs are made of RACISM.

If Hip Hop is made of racism, and if I love Hip Hop, does that mean I love racism? Hahaha Don't get it twisted, I love this break and the songs that it spawned, but I ain't never looked the other way.


Big shout out to Mike 2600 for hippin me to the clip, and of course The Royal Macadamia Nuts.

what alamo?

You know, because all we need is a burger to end the relational effects of colonization. And all Mexicans are tiny. And spicy. Yeah.

but pandas are supposed to be cute...

In an east coast adventure, we spotted this fine proclamation that somehow made it past the corporate focus groups and right to a front window in the middle of Chocolate City.

Somehow the goopy chicken and crunchy/oily rice will never be worth it. Get your noodles in the hood, not the mall.

bill cosby meets bollywood

fantastic mash-up of the into to the cosby show.
just watch it.

thanks to disgrasian.

Racist TACOs in SF

I ate some Racist tacos the other day at Los Coyotes taqueria on 16th in the Mission, SF. They were aaite, but the lotteria table decor made it lightweight Racist. Lightweight because growing up, it turns out ALL Indians are "A-PA-CHEs" pronounced like a cuss word, with great disgust and loathing. Not to mention this dude has some FUNNY gear for an Apache, guess you loose that detail when you're running for your encroaching life.

BUT, lets not forget about another well known apache...
Incredible Bongo Band - The Apache


Apache Chief was introduced as a super hero, down with the Super Friends in 1977. His power was to grow hella big (50') when he said the apache word for "Big Man." He spoke and kept it stoic as fuck throughout. He was always somewhere near Wonder Woman... hmmm... Think he was rockin' that.



... Then, Family Guy got around to it..



Keep it Sureal.
-LwR

Asher Roth Goes Whiteface

April fool. I saw this dude at SXSW and he was technically proficient and clearly for the Animal House 2009 children of privilege. They're gonna love him. He's gonna be huge. Useless to us, but... yeah. Anyway, this is lightweight.

asher roth - april fool's day from biz 3 publicity on Vimeo.

black people love basketball. and weezy.

Meet Franco Finn. Amidst his usual hometown crowd-rocking duties, is a segment called "Upgrade of the Game" where a lucky group of nosebleed ticket-holders are treated to empty seats a little closer to the action. Franco gets the honor and pleasure of informing the Warriors faithful of their great luck. So far so good.

The past several games, this honor has been bestowed upon two to six of my brothers and aunties and cousins - great! Love to see my folks get a little something for nothing. Any steps towards the 40 acres is mostly appreciated. Except while the family is happily cheering on camera, we hear this:



I'll be real - it's hard to be the Warriors' official hype man these days. Even harder to get a job if you don't have one. If I were Franco, I'd quit in solidarity. At least until they found a better song.

wash your mouth out with soap.

i can't say it better than this: keeping whites and colors separate at the U-Washee, via angry asian man.

stereotypes

I'm pretty sure there aren't many people in the world who need help in upholding racist stereotypes about Black people. We can trace this challenge to a lot of root causes, but there's always room for a big THANKS A LOT to Harriet Beecher Stowe and her helpful tome.

I can halfway understand why the fine people of Seoul chose to honor those images with a cultural establishment all their own - a country bar in homage to the 19th century novel and its loving mammy and dutiful servant. Why wouldn't you want a hug from a big-chested woman or get your soju mojito (or whatever) with a smile and a "yessuh"?

Fuck that.

My President is Black

Matthew Africa got this gem in payment for a Gig at Kitty's. He/We are astounded at the time and attention someone gave to penciling in Abraham Lincoln's face except for the eyes. Perhaps they were curious about recent inquiries into our 16th president's rumored African heritage... if you think "Honest Abe" is great guy, ask any Native what they think about the Black Hawk War... Proof an American President has to be a jerk.

Jay-Z - My President Is Black (DC Mix)

WHITE CRIME!

If you are lucky, you'll get some bonus *yay* racism at the end of this clip courtesy of SPRITE!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
The New White Face of Crime
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

P.E. OBAMA in Spider-Man #583

The Amazing Spider-Man # 583 will feature the President Elect Barack Obama in a story about inauguration day. Lightweight Racist is "shouting-out" Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada for going public with the storyline that is LIGHTWEIGH RACIST. Dig...

"The comic starts with Spider-Man's alter-ego Peter Parker taking photographs at the inauguration, before spotting two identical Obamas.
Parker decides 'the future president's gonna need Spider-Man,' and springs into action, using basketball to determine the real Obama and punching out the impostor."

Sounds like a racist joke in the making... "how do you tell the real Barack from and impostor... throw him a basketball" Oh, yeah...

"Obama thanks him with a fist-bump." I never heard that term until the media had to name it during the campaign... but i guess the writers thought we needed reassurances of a 'racial identifier' that it was indeed the real Barack.

Source: Huffington Post

Lightweight Racist is dedicated to pointing and laughing at the Racist, Racism, and it's manifestations because racism hella tries to creep back into "okay."

Sizzla- Black Man in the White House